Starting to feel alone – thank God for my children!

Since having children, I have dedicated my life to looking after my children, to guiding them on the right path and to walk the correct road.  Also, to look after my elderly Mother as best I can and well to be honest I spend a lot of time as a non paid political activist and animal rights activist.

If you feel uncomfortable with that, feel free to disappear (my gut instinct says to f**k o**!) and escape into your own little bubble!

I despair at the lack of empathy shown to fellow human beings let alone that shown to vulnerable animals.

I wonder why people don’t look at the world the way I do and condemn all that is wrong in it.

My children, like me, are not perfect and we sometimes over-react to situations within the home.  We always realise when we are wrong though and talk about it and apologise to one another.  Sometimes they do wrong and lectures ensue.  They end up knowing what they did wrong or where they went wrong and we discuss it and address it.  Many apologies follow.

I spend time on Facebook and Twitter fighting for what I believe in.  Sharing the wrong doing in the world and praising the good.  On Facebook I get little reaction, on Twitter a little more.  On WordPress not much reaction.

I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth and I will not die with one.  I don’t care!  What I do want is to bring my children up to be the kind of people I think they ought to be, to care, to fight for what they believe in and to not care what the heartless think.

Only this morning, I shared and commented on Facebook a petition I had signed about a zoo in England and its appalling record on killing animals they had no room for whilst leaving animals so hungry they ate each other.  Not one of my friends liked or commented on the post let alone shared it.

I struggle to comprehend the lack of empathy.

Twin 1 saw me share the post and comment.  I heard him go down stairs and tell his Sister about it.  How lion cubs were shot because there was no room for them in the zoo.  I heard twin 2 express her disgust.  I heard them discuss how it was “a shame” and I heard them pity those poor animals and yet no matter how I try to raise awareness and bring about change it all seems to fall on the ears of those who don’t care enough to show it.  Thank goodness I have brought up my twins to see what is wrong.

Only cowards close their eyes to wrong doing.  Next time something appalls you please speak out.








Earth Hour

It is a while since I have posted and not without good reason.  Certain events compelled me to stay silent out of respect.

I thought it would be nice to take part in Earth Hour again this year.  Old Pop wasn’t too keen and made some really rude remark (something along the lines of “You really are an ars****e!”)  He is such a charmer!  :/  Still it must be tough living with me and I am a bit of a hippy.

However, as a family, we took part, although Old Pop slept through the second half.

At first we played a game of name a word where the next person in a clock wise direction names a word that the last word made them think of.  Then Old Pop fell asleep and I tested the twins on mental arithmetic.

Shortly afterwards, Earth Hour ended and I allowed the twins to light a sparkler in the garden in celebration of achieving the Earth Hour goal.

Some may say that defeated the whole purpose and indeed I did wonder about that and questioned myself.  I sort of made a deal with the kids earlier though!  They said if they did Earth Hour, could they light a sparkler afterwards?  I agreed.

Being a Mum requires honesty and if you agree to something you must follow it through and so I did.  So one large sparkler each for the twins got lit in the garden.  Not sure the WWF would approve!

“Hello” and a smile costs nothing!

Yes it is true to say “Hello” and a smile at someone costs nothing.

I was brought up to feel this is normal behaviour.

When I look around the Village I now reside in it amazes me how rude some people are.  I frequently say “Hi!” or “Hello” to people I know and they completely ignore me, especially in public.

I am astounded by their rudeness.

I was brought up in small Village settlements and people were always mannerly.

So where has it all gone wrong?  Is it a sign of the times?  No!  It isn’t the same everywhere.

So is it brought out by people with a superiority complex or by clicky people in small Villages?  Probably both.

They want to take a good long hard look at themselves and ask themselves if they are better than those they are rude to!?!  The answer will inevitably  be “No”.

I just sometimes wish they would do us all a favour.  Simply ignore us always and not just sometimes if they think they are better.  That way they don’t mess with our minds, feelings and emotions and we can treat them the way they deserve!






Spring Is In The Air

This morning I walked the twins to school and on the way home took a detour down by the pier.  What a lovely morning for a walk!

The snow is quite thick at the top of Ben Cruachan and there is a dusting much like icing sugar on the hills.

As I walked I observed the flora and fauna around me.  The morning light shining on even the jaggy whin made the colour of the flowers more vibrant and beautiful than I have ever noticed them before.

It was peaceful down towards the pier with little sound other than bird song and chatter.  I like to watch our feathered friends and I am always on the lookout for something a little different to what I have seen before.

Often when I walk down that way I see a bird pecking in the seaweed with a long curved beak.  I am not sure if it is a curlew or a snipe.  It was there again today busy searching in the seaweed.

Today I noticed a seal bobbing its head in the water.  I don’t usually see seals around here so it made a nice change.

The snowdrops are looking beautiful just now and seem to have weathered Doris the storm well, unlike the crocuses and daffodils in my garden.

On the way back the sun was shining on the River Awe and was casting a silvery glow on the water as it swirled downwards towards Loch Etive.  The sound of the water running was pleasant too.  The river seemed to rush towards the loch and yet the loch looked so calm.

On my return I glanced up towards the sky at the sun which was beating through the cloud and the sun was almost blinding me.  As I looked away from it to protect my eyes I smiled at the thought of sunshine straining my eyes.  That hasn’t happened for a fair wee while here.  I am ready for the better weather and I am looking forward to getting out more for walks with the children.

I enjoyed that walk today and it was good for the soul.










The latest from the Scottish Twins and their Mamma!

My last post was a late night rambling, after chilling out, following a very difficult and challenging day, about how I felt.  I deleted it on Facebook and Twitter the next day but left it on WordPress!

I never regretted what I had written, it was how I felt at the time.

My wee blog is like a diary – it reflects life as it is, when time allows me to post.

So, what has happened since? – much soul-searching and a lot of the FBI agent thing questioning everything.  I didn’t get the answers I wanted.  Worry ensued.

I am so glad I still have my Mother in my life, despite her age.  I can still tell her everything and she still re-assures me.  I need that.  She is 83 and she still helps me when I need it.  I am lucky.

I still need her in my life and worry about the time I won’t have her.  Luckily, however, my children are growing into wise and loving people who re-assure me so often.

At times, lately, however, they have caused me worry and concern.

They are often ignored or rejected by their contemporaries, which adds to their individual concerns, needs and worries.

I do feel sorry for them.  I try to address all the issues and re-assure them.

My daughter went off tonight to a Gymnastics session, part of a block of 5, she went alone without her brother and without anyone she knew.  She wanted to go and yet I wondered would it be OK for her.  I am proud of how she bravely went alone, without friends or her brother, to do something she had never done before.  Sometimes she seems so vulnerable and yet she still surprises me with her inner strength at times.

I don’t think she learnt much, but she enjoyed it and is up for going again.

She is a wee fighter, but in a good way.  I feel she has strength of character, despite what her experience in life has been.

I think I have my Son back too, after worrying about him for a while.

So all is good with the Scottish Twins and their mammy.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring?  I know I will be there though for my children and I think they know it too.










Sometimes in Life …

Sometimes in life you question yourself,  sometimes in life you wonder, sometimes in life you ask yourself are you really doing your best?  Where have you gone wrong?  Have you even gone wrong?

If you haven’t why have things turned out this way?  Do you deserve to be dealing with these problems?  Why is life so hard at times?

Some may say life is meant to test you!  Maybe it is!

Sometimes, I think “Hell why has it to be so hard?  Do I really deserve this?”

Then I think of those less fortunate, battling with greater problems and I tell myself “To get a life, get things in proportion!”

I suppose the bottom line is we all suffer, some more than others.

I don’t think we were meant to have an easy run, it would not make us appreciate the good things in life.

Sometimes in life, I wish we had it easier!




Tummy bug and time off!

Last Saturday, twin 1 had a wee tummy bug, seemed to recover fine and was set for school on Monday but had a sore tum.  Twin 2 was to go alone!  :/   Quite upset at the prospect of going alone, I reassured her and we got her off to school.

Twin 1 was back on Tuesday, as we were confident all was well.  Tuesday night and twin 2 started with the bug.

On Wednesday,  it was frosty, I got twin 1 ready, he tried to make out he had a sore tummy but after the FBI style investigation, he was found guilty of lying.  He had the lying face after being questioned.  The one when you ask a question and he smiles.  You catch on, comment, he tries to hide his face – you know the drill.

He eventually confessed to wanting a day at home with Mummy!  He agreed to go to school after I stated they would fall behind, if they were not there.  He is fly but not stupid.

I got him totally ready, teeth done, packed lunch packed, homework in bag with lunch, nose cleaned, face cleaned, ears cleaned, hair brushed, clean clothes – the works.

He then needed a poo at the last minute.  I was defrosting the car and returned to discover his poo was soft again and light in colour.  He was now off too for the day!  I phoned them in sick.

Wednesday night Daddy got the bug.  I was feeling run down and tired and went to bed at the back of 7.00 pm.  I was up later with twin 2 at the toilet and then Daddy was up at least two times with her.  He was out to work at 5.30 am!

A day at home with the twins ensued, they may have had a bug, but they suffered no loss of appetite.  One even commented on how they may have the bug but they were still hyper, I think that was honest twin 1 who can sometimes be quite witty.

I sneaked out to go shopping tonight alone.  Tomorrow they will still be off recovering and for me their mid-term break has started all too early.

This tough Mamma will make sure though that before they go back they will have been educated more than they would have at school for those missing days.